Obituary of Mary Martha Meade

Mary Martha Meade, 68, died peacefully in her sleep at her home in the Seven Oaks neighborhood of Orange, NJ, surrounded by her family, on May 8, 2025, after battling stage 4 metastatic breast cancer for nearly 10 years.

Mary was named for her paternal grandmother, a courageous woman who emigrated alone from Ukraine to the United States to reunite with the man she would later marry. Mary saw herself as a global citizen, shaped by a life of extensive travel and a childhood spent in Albany, Boston, Syracuse, Tokyo, and New York City.

Mary was the firstborn daughter of Dr. James Walter Meade and Beverly May Meade (née Quay). She was born in Albany, New York, where her father was attending medical school and her mother worked as a medical technician. Eighteen months later, her sister Christine Anne was born. The family relocated to Boston for her father’s medical residency and later moved to the seaside town of Quincy, Massachusetts, following the birth of Anna May. After completing residency, the family settled in Liverpool, New York, where the youngest sister, Rose Marie, completed the close-knit quartet of sisters. In 1968, the family was deployed to Tokyo, Japan, where Dr. Meade served as a surgeon for the U.S. Army. Being deployed abroad during the Vietnam War at age 12 left a lasting impression on Mary.

Mary graduated from the Martin J. Whitman School of Management at Syracuse University with a Bachelor of Science in Accounting. She cherished her time at S.U., where she was actively involved in the Chi Omega sorority and played on the lacrosse team. After college, she moved to Manhattan to begin her career at McMillan Publishing. Over the years, Mary built a dynamic career in finance, holding roles at firms ranging from Lehman Brothers and Goldman Sachs to High Times magazine, eventually launching her own consultancy. In 1987, she married her partner, Jack Edward Smith III, at the First United Methodist Church in Voorheesville, NY, and two years later they welcomed their son, Jack Edward Smith IV. Committed to providing him with the best public education, Mary and Jack later settled in Chappaqua, New York, and eventually made their home in Maplewood/South Orange, New Jersey.

Mary was a visionary and serial entrepreneur with a passion for innovation. In 2005, after exploring a venture in adult gummy vitamins, she launched DinnerSmith—a pioneering meal preparation studio for busy families and an early forerunner to services like HelloFresh. In 2019, following her cancer diagnosis, Mary co-authored Cannabis: A Big Sisters’ Guide, a book on medical cannabis written with her sister Anna. Later in life, her inventive spirit led her to work on the design of a domestic robot.

Mary was endlessly curious and creatively engaged—with a lifelong enthusiasm for technology, reading, the arts, and gaming. From classic tabletop sessions of Dungeons & Dragons in the 1970s to modern multiplayer online games, she remained an enthusiastic and active gamer throughout her life. She and Jack enjoyed attending and discussing countless plays and music events. A true explorer at heart, Mary loved immersing herself in the customs, cuisine, and traditions of the places she visited. Favorite places included Cross Lake in New York, the ski slopes of Stowe, Vermont, and the beaches of Ocean Grove and Provincetown, where she volunteered with the Film Festival for many years.

Mary had a gift for connection, and people were naturally drawn to her. She sparked passionate conversations and formed lasting friendships wherever she went. Her life was also rich in spirituality—faith was a guiding force. In 2001, she became an active member of The Episcopal Church of St. Andrew & Holy Communion in South Orange, New Jersey. Before that, she worshiped at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York City, a place that held special meaning for her and where her son and Natalie May will be married in June.

Mary believed strongly that it is not our prostrations but the work of our hands that shows Jesus we love him. A gifted speaker and devoted member of the prayer team, she also served as parish administrator and played an active role on the fundraising committee at St. Andrew. Whether organizing pancake suppers, fish fries, or game nights, Mary was always looking for ways to bring people together and strengthen the church community. In her later years, she found deep fulfillment teaching English as a second language to immigrants at the church. When she learned that many of her students from warmer climates were unprepared for Northeast winters, she quickly organized a coat drive to ensure they stayed warm. Mary was also a longtime and enthusiastic member of the church book club.

Mary is survived by her partner, Jack E. Smith III; her son, Jack E. Smith IV (Natalie May) of Brooklyn, NY; her mother, Beverly M. Meade; her sisters, Christine A. Gilman (Mickey Gilman) of Jordan, NY, Anna May Meade of Provincetown, MA, and Rose Meade Hart (Geno Baccaglini) of Jeffersonville, VT; as well as niece Tina Gilman, nephew Jeff Gilman, great-nephew Carter Bellinger; a large, loving family of aunts, uncles, and cousins; and a huge, diverse group of friends.

Services will be held on Thursday, May 15, 2025, at St. Andrew and Holy Communion at 160 West South Orange Avenue, South Orange, NJ. Calling hours are 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. Services begin at 12:00 p.m., with a celebration of life and repast to follow at the Parish Hall from 1:30 p.m. to 3:00 p.m.

The family would like to thank the people of Cooperman Barnabas Medical Center in Livingston, NJ, for the amazing care that Mary received.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to World Aid Runners in support of their work for the Ukrainian people, or to Saint Andrew and Holy Communion  in support of their ESL program.