Obituary of Roberta M. Trismen

On Saturday, November 22, 2025, Roberta “Bobbe” Trismen, beloved mother, grandmother, and great grandmother, passed away at the age of 96.

Bobbe was born on March 24, 1929 in Staten Island, NY, to Harry and Helen (née Clifford) Cassidy. She and her younger brother, Jack, were raised in Grant City on the East Shore of Staten Island — the borough she would continue to call home for over six decades. She earned a degree from Notre Dame College in the Grymes Hill area of the island and returned to attain her teaching credentials, which she put to good use for 15 years as an elementary school teacher at the St. Clare‘s School in Great Kills. As a teacher of second grade in the city, Bobbe’s whip-smart cleverness and suffer-no-fools tenacity were a perfect pairing. Growing up with relatives in both the worlds of arts and politics, an appreciation of language was in her blood and she brought her lifelong love of reading and great writing to innumerable classrooms; something she would further instill in her own children and grandchildren. 

She met her husband Addison “Ray” Trismen, when the pair, both Staten Islanders, had a chance encounter at a Adirondack resort called Friends Lake Inn, where Bobbe was working as a waitress and Ray was working as a chauffeur (very Dirty Dancing). They married on February 3, 1951 and raised their four children — Harry, Pamela, Ray, and Robert — in Great Kills. Bobbe and Ray had a storybook marriage, with Ray ever-devoted to Bobbe, and the two filled their home with endless love and respect for one another and their children. Of the many gifts Bobbe and Ray provided their family — countless holidays celebrated around an ever-expanding table, summers filled with travel and tennis, sailing jaunts around Great Kills Harbor, support for school and every passion — their love of family, a dedication to taking care of the people closest to you, remains the greatest. 

When the kids were grown and Ray was “almost” ready to retire, Bobbe and Ray left Staten Island to spend their next act at Shadow Lake Village in Red Bank, NJ, where the two made the most of the “active” part of the active adult community, now hosting their grandchildren to lazy pool days and golf outings and kayaking sessions. All the while, Bobbe harnessed her proficiency at card games, especially bridge, and remained a much sought-after partner for weekly games after Ray passed and she moved to Winchester Gardens in Maplewood, NJ; a move that greatly delighted her nearby daughter, granddaughter, and great granddaughters, whom she found endlessly fascinating and a source of constant joy and entertainment. 

Until the very end, Bobbe remained bold, disarmingly funny, and a source of constant support for her family, taking on whatever setbacks, however small, or celebrating any blessing that her loved ones and friends experienced. A true matriarch, she took care of everyone and set an example for how to live with spirit and vibrancy.

Bobbe was preceded in death by her father, Harry Cassidy, her mother, Helen Cassidy, her brother, Jack Cassidy, her husband, Ray Trismen, her son, Harry Trismen, and her son-in-law, James Polisin. She is survived by her children, Pamela Polisin, Ray Trismen, and Robert Trismen, her daughters-in-law, Deborah Trismen and Karol Lee Trismen, her son-in-law, Ian Lang, her grandchildren, Laura Gardella (and husband, Derek Gardella), Douglas Polisin, Andrew Trismen, Harris Trismen, Rick Trismen, Peter Trismen, and Jack Trismen, and her great granddaughters, Paige Gardella and Claire Gardella. 

A memorial service will be held at a future date for family and friends.