Monday, January 9, 2023
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Growing up I knew my grandmother to be a lively and bold woman. You could hear the strength in her voice as she commanded a room with direction, stories and love.
When Grandmita was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and shortly after moved to a Nursing Home, many of those attributes dwindled. Over the past decade I witnessed my grandmother’s memory slowly fade as her ability to remember her life’s stories became difficult. With time, parts of her personality shifted as her condition declined… yet my love for her grew stronger as I witnessed my mother become her caretaker.
While in “Da Bronx,” Mama would visit Grandmita on Saturdays, bringing her food, washing her hair, clipping her nails, ensuring she was well taken care of and comfortable. When I would visit from Massachusetts, Minnesota, Texas or wherever I was living at the time, I took the opportunity to see Grandmita. She reminisced of her youth, shared stories of her love for Papi and even introduced me to her friend who lived in the mirror… a kind woman… a reflection of herself. It was truly amazing to experience and I will cherish those memories forever.
After moving home to New Jersey,
Mama asked me to visit and care for Grandmita a few times while she travelled out of the country for vacation with Papa. Without hesitation I agreed, but as the days approached I was filled with nerves at the thought of taking care of Grandmita alone for the first time. I wondered how she would respond to me.
The day finally arrived and in a way it felt like I had an out of body experience … I saw myself walking up to her table in the Nursing Home cafeteria, her head low as a tray of food sat in front of her. I remember greeting my grandmother with the usual “Bendicion, Grandmita,” which triggered a surprising response: the largest smile. In that moment, Grandmita knew I was there to take care of her and all of my worries, all my nerves left immediately, allowing us to truly be present with each other. Over the next few days, Grandmita allowed me to shower her with love by receiving my many hugs, kisses, and gestures of affection. In a way our roles had been reversed for just a few days. Grandmita allowed me to care for her the way she had cared for me my entire life. I thank her for sharing in these memories.
Although she will be missed for the rest of my life, I know my Grandmita is resting well with her spirit soaring free, the way her journey is intended to be. And, if I had one more minute to share with her, I would end our time together as I always did, saying “Bendicion, Grandmita. I love you. Your negrita, Amanding.”
