Mario posted a condolence
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I am somewhat out of touch with my family and just found out about my stepdad's passing only today.
This is a good man who always did his best to do the right things by us even if we didn't quite see it at the time.
He married my mom in 1974 when I was 4, and always treated us like we were his own even when we made mistakes and had difficulties. He was always there. Anytime things got bad, poppy would make it right if he could, and he always did.
He loved my mom and stood by her thru some tough times, and some wonderful times, and was never the same after she passed in February 1992. She was a tough woman and could be demanding at times, but this just brought out the best in Dad!
Along with a new stepdad we got a wonderful family in New Jersey who also always treated us like we were their own. I can never forget them, Uncle Phil, Grandma Maraino, Minnie and Leo, Uncle Bob, an amazing family of decent and incredibly kind people who in the path of life I somehow never felt worthy enough to be amongst they were just THAT good, I cannot recall a single negative word or thought from them. I am alone in life now but they are with me in memories and innumerable other ways. Anyone that ever set foot in Uncle Leo's home on Christmas Eve knows the truest meaning of love, happiness and family. We have Dad to thank for all these memories, and even though the time is gone, they are a treasure from a better time to me.
He could tell and retell us stories of his youth in Orange and Maplewood... how he laughed! He could really put you in the moment!
He loved his job and all his friends there... some whose names I can still recall. Here was a fun and sometimes playful man who would get very serious when dealing with his work.
He knew humor, Dad has said some of the wryest, funniest things I have ever heard!
Like only an engineer can, he could be ultimately pragmatic when necessary, whether you chose to accept it or not. This, along with math may be Dad's strongest suit, but he was not overly pessimistic at all. He was the perfect foil for my Mom, she could be a bit of a dreamer! Together and determined they were quite unstoppable, and they were always hilarious! I still laugh at some of the things they said twenty-five years ago.
He worked hard, travelled a lot and so enjoyed just relaxing when he could. He had a fanatical sense for landscaping and yardwork, and he really enjoyed his Toyota work trucks. Dirt or disorder were not options with him, quite the opposite of my Mom's truck, which he would clean fastideously when she let it get out of hand.
I am overwhelmed with the gifts that these memories really are, and only very recently have I started to become aware of how precious.
Thank you Dad, for standing by me even when I didn't deserve it, and thank you for giving Gail, Mom and I a life so many other people could only dream of.
Other memories:
Summer 1978 at Tripp Lake Maine.
For christmas 1978 Pop gave me an elaborate train set. Together we worked and soon the basement was consumed with trains. His favorite: A Pennsy GG1 locomotive like the ones he'd ride in NJ as a kid.
Summers in Timonium Md. '81-'82
Walking the Mall in Washington DC on a scathing hot summer day!
When videogames came along he gave us a Colecovision in 1982 that we played forever. Other kids might have had the same games but few had a Dad that could sit with you and kick Donkeykong butt for 4 hours straight!
Making Moody Blues and Van Halen tapes for him to listen to on his long looooong drives to work four states away sometimes!
Dad teaching me to shoot our .22 at bats in '79!
Putting up with my RC helicopters, noise, crashes and the resulting bills.
His flannel shirts!
Encouraging me in my persuits even when they were silly to him.
Standing by my Mom when she went through a lot of stress in 1986
The house they fixed up in Livingston Manner NY
Rides thru the winter countryside in Wallkill to get firewood at "the woodplace".
I would love to believe that he and Mom are in heaven together somewhere, what could make them happier? He was a very good man, honest and truthful and an excellent Dad to us, whether I could see it then or not.
If it was my choice, and only now do I totally realise this, I guess I couldn't possibly have chosen a better man for a stepfather, and would not change a thing if I could.
