Obituary of Monet Rachelle Armenia

Early this week, Monet Armenia sat in her bed at her home in South Orange, N.J., writing out future birthday cards to her two sons, Aidan, age 9, and Jackson, age 7. "This one is for when Aidan turns 21," she said, looking perplexed. "Should I tell him to be safe, or suggest he order my favorite drink?" She paused from her writing to reach for a hug from another friend who'd come to see her, some bringing her Italian cookies, some asking where they could put the folded laundry. She pushed the cards aside to find her iPad to buy Jackson the Nike shorts he'd been begging for all morning, a cross for Aidan to match the one his brother has, and her favorite blanket for both of them, which they will get at Christmas. The doorbell rang again. This time it was the hospice nurse. Two days later, on July 19, 2014, Monet Rachelle Armenia (nee Caputy) died peacefully at home, surrounded by her family and close friends. She was 42 years old. All members of the community are invited to come remember Monet, and celebrate the richness and fullness of the life she lived, at a Memorial Mass at Our Lady Of Sorrows Church, 217 Prospect St., South Orange, on Thursday, July 24, at 10:30 a.m. Monet's family will be receiving friends at Preston Funeral Home, 153 South Orange Ave., South Orange, on Wednesday from 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m. Monet, who grew up in West Seneca, N.Y., was a top student, a Cornell graduate, a consultant at Ernst & Young, and the type of person who got every job she ever applied for, but she wouldn't necessarily want you talking about that. As Monet liked to say, "Why stress about work? It's life that really matters." This was just one of the lessons that Monet has instilled in the people she touched, in the countless number of close friends and family she's left behind, from Buffalo to Boston to Florida to New Jersey. Lessons like: Always remember everyone is fighting their own battle. Take time each day to snuggle in bed with someone you love (preferably on high thread-count sheets). Always dress nicely, even for the doctor. Take long naps. Use Aveda hair products and good hand lotion. If there's something you really want to do, stop hesitating, and just do it. Things are better with red wine, potato chips, and onion dip. Nobody will be your strongest advocate but yourself. Buy organic. Lunch at Swiss Chalet is a must when in Canada. If Pink is in town, gather your girlfriends, get the tickets, and dance until you can barely stand. Don't wear ill-fitting jeans. If you can't decide between the pasta or the pizza, get both. Whatever it is you're going through - even if it's metastatic breast cancer - always ask others how they are, and really care about their answer. Your family is who you love, and true friendship is not always measured in years. It really does take a village, so do your part. If you show people love and kindness, you will get it back several times over. There is always hope. And cherish the things that really matter. Above all that Monet cherished in her life - her friends, her independent spirit, travel, good music, and long conversations - the thing she cherished the most was her family. She was an adoring, wonderful mother to Aidan and Jackson, and a loving wife to her soulmate and best friend, Joe Armenia. She is also survived by her adoring parents, Frank and Alison Occhino Caputy, and her two sisters, Deanie Newberry and Natalie Burns. In lieu of flowers, donations to Stand Up To Cancer, File 1224, 1801 W. Olympic Blvd., Pasadena, Calif. 91199-1224 or St. Barnabas Hospice and Palliative Care Center, 95 Old Short Hills Rd., West Orange, N.J. 07052 would be appreciated.